Free Day July 25

Free Day July 25, 2012

Today was a free day.  It was very nice to have nowhere to go and nothing to do.  We spent the day at the guest house and the kids played together and spent a lot of time in the blow up pool that we purchased at the bizarre.  They have had so much fun with that thing!  Today we busted out the little water guns that we bought and the boys thought that was the best! It is very apparent that they have watched TV as they all know how to point a gun and make various gun noises as they shoot people.

Our time with Asa has been so much fun.  And so challenging.  The orphanage environment is so different than “real life”.  An orphanage is built specifically to house children, so there are very few off limits items or areas.  And the number of eyes watching each child is so limited, that the “no no’s” are really limited to the most extreme or dangerous situations.  As a result, kids are not told NO very often and not supervised very well.  To go from that environment to the one we are in now, is quite frankly, culture shock of the most extreme.  We are in a guest house with definite boundaries and off limits areas and items.  And the adult to child ratio is either 1 to 1, or 2 to 1.  There is no escaping the constant supervision and the environment is very over stimulating.  And it seems they are constantly being told NYET (no).  

Mike and I are praying for wisdom on which battles to fight with Asa right now.  There are definitely things that we are seeing that would not be tolerated with our other children.  But the way we would address those issues is based on trust and a relationship that is just not there with Asa yet.  He has no reason to trust us yet. And we have to often remind ourselves, he has not been taught HOW to behave.  His behavior up to this point has been aimed solely at ensuring his survival: what do I need to do to make sure I get enough to eat, am warm at night, and get enough attention from the only adult caring for 22 young children? 

Of course in issues of safety, there is no tolerance; you must obey Mommy and Daddy.  In other issues, we are praying that we can be compassionate, tender, gracious and full of mercy for him.  We prayed tonight that we would be a source of peace and refuge for him in this very confusing and difficult time. We have to ask ourselves: Is he tired, hungry, angry, scared, over stimulated, or missing home?  In a four year old, any of those issues usually results in what looks like bad behavior: whining, temper tantrums, refusing to obey, hitting, throwing, etc.  But our reaction to those behaviors must be rooted in what is causing the behavior.  And finding that root is difficult with the language barrier that is there now.

The language issue is hard.  He understands more and more, but we have not heard him speak any English other than to repeat after us.  He talks to us all the time, but we cannot understand most of what he is saying.  And it is so frustrating to not be able to understand him.  And I am sure he feels the same way too.  We most likely will not see the kids speak much English until we get home.  There are four of them and they are constantly talking to one another, and there are Russian speaking adults around all the time, so really, the kids have no need to speak English right now.  Until it is necessary for survival, they will depend on their Russian instead of trying to speak English.  We know that once we are home, the English will come fast.  We are just in a hard place right now.

We would appreciate your prayers in this area, both now, and in the months to come.

Our coordinator will go tomorrow and pick up the kids’ passports, but other than that, we will spend more time playing in the water and just enjoying our children!