It was time. I got the postcard in the mail a few months ago but had not called to make the appointment. You know, THAT appointment. Yeah! But Mike called me one day and I needed to have a physical exam for our insurance, so I had to do it.
I called and got an 8:30 am Monday morning appointment. The older three kids would be at school. Mike said, "What are you going to do with Asa and Ezra?" Can't I just leave them in the car? No, well, I honestly didn't know what I was going to do with them. Maybe the Nanny Fairy would leave a nanny at our house on Sunday night and she could watch them.
I took everyone to school and had faced the fact that my 3 and 4 year old sons would be with me for this fun appointment. I had the double stroller that neither child is nimble enough to escape from, lots of snacks and juice and toys and crayons and books and my phone with the Disney Channel app. I was all set.
8:30 am appointment. First appointment of the day. With a physician's assistant, not the obgyn. I should be in and out quickly.
She called me back at 8:30. Took my vitals and sent me to the lab. Bloodwork. The boys were still relatively enamored with the new environment, the nurses were stilled in awe of how cute my boys were, even though Ezra kept yelling, "Mama! Mama! Mama!" as the phlebotomist stuck me. Bloodwork, done.
Into the exam room. Take off the clothes, put on the gown, cover up with the fake paper blanket and give the kids their snacks, drinks and books. Okay. 8:50 tic tic tic, 9:15 tic tic tic, 9:45...nurse pops in. Oh, he called and said he was sorry, he got stuck in a c-section, he is on his way!
By this point, the snacks are gone, the toys lie on the ground surrounding the stroller, the drinks are almost to the little bladders and the Disney app is old. And Ezra wants OUT! "NY NO NIKE IT!" Yeah, me neither kid.
In walks the PA. He immediately sees the double stroller and starts apologizing! He blows up two rubber glove balloons for the boys. Ezra promptly throws his balloon to the ground and continues wailing. Nice. The PA tries to make small talk above the noise of my son's screams. I try to stay relaxed. You know, because this particular event in a woman's life is so relaxing. And hearing her kid scream like a possessed gremlin is relaxing. Total spa experience. I almost fell asleep. Not.
The exam was wrapped up quickly enough, as those things go, and soon enough we were finished. I put my clothes back on and the nurse comes back in with my check out papers. And she hands me my 40th birthday present....the first of my yearly mammogram orders. Yippee! I am pretty sure I'll have to get a babysitter for that one.
As I walked to the front desk to pay my wonderful $30 co-pay, I noticed on the exam sheet that I had graduated to a new age group. I had leaped from the 18-39 year old category, to the 40-64 year old category! Oh dear me. That was a slap to the face. Happy birthday to me!
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