Judah is our 5 year old. He is a very special little boy and oh.so.cute! He is funny and we are always laughing at what comes out of his mouth. He is starting kindergarten next Monday.
Judah was born at 35 weeks after I developed HELLP syndrome. He was my second emergency c-section baby. He came out crying and healthy and we are very thankful for that! I was very sick though and was on some very powerful drugs to combat the HELLP syndrome. Sadly I have very little recollection of his first two days of being here.
Judah developed well the first year, and was saying bye bye and mama by 10 months of age. But shortly after his first birthday he stopped talking. He wasn't walking by 16 months either. We had a PT evaluation and everything checked out fine. He just "needed more confidence," they said. Almost on cue, a month later he started walking.
But it was not toddling. No. He stood up during a care group meeting at church and just walked across the room. First steps were at least 15 steps and clear across the room. From a sitting position, he stood himself up and walked. He did it so well that a few people asked, "Oh, when did he start walking?" like it had been a few weeks or so. "Right now!" was our stunned response!
At two years old Judah was still not talking. At all. No bye bye, mama, daddy, siblings' names...nothing. I called Early Childhood Intervention for an evaluation, and made a parent referral to Midland Children's Rehab Center. ECI came out and declared that he was delayed in all areas. He was evaluated at MCRC and she noted some sensory issues also.
I had done too much googling and I was worried too. But we were still in that "he'll be fine, he just needs more confidence" state of mind. We started speech with ECI and at MCRC. ECI turned out to be a waste of time and I dropped the services. We continued at MCRC. Sharla was our speech therapist.
Sharla saw Judah once a week and he had a great time learning signs, and repeating the signs we had taught him. And one day he finally spoke. It was as clear as if he had been speaking for months. He said.....not mama, dada, bye bye....no, he said, "Butterfly." And then "basketball." With perfect pronunciation and in perfect context. Just like when he started walking. He stood up and walked across the room. And that is how he started talking.
Speech came at a steady rate but he was still very delayed at 3 years. He had a large vocabulary, but he was not stringing words together and for the most part, seemed to be non verbal in most contexts. By closer to his fourth birthday he was talking and in more complex sentences, but when he did talk it was only about airplanes. He talked all day long. And he wanted you to talk to him all day long. But it was the same exact conversation all day long. And it was always about airplanes. Always.
A month before he turned four, Judah got a new brother. We brought Ezra home. Oh that was very difficult for Judah. And I must confess, we had not prepared him enough. We had not prepared him enough for our trip to China, us being away that long. It was a very difficult transition for him and I hate that. It took a good six months before Judah seemed to recover from that experience. And it breaks my heart that us bringing Ezra home was so hard on him.
The week of his fourth birthday we saw a specialist. Mike and I both agreed that there were some things about Judah and his development that just seemed off. He talked all the time, but it was always in a very formal manner. And at times he seemed to have a strange accent, like he was from another country. And again, he always talked about airplanes. He has an incredible knowledge of airplanes and can name the model and what war most airplanes flew in. He was also very shut off socially. In the church nursery or Sunday school, he did not interact with the other children, he was content to sit in the corner and study the propellor on a plane he had with him, or to fly his plane around the room over and over and over.
He also had an intense fear of some things. Fans. Spraying water. Hairbrushes or combs. Haircuts were a terror filled experience and it took both of us to hold him still. He would only eat very colorful and spicy foods and would not eat foods that were yellow or brown in color. And he was so hyperactive. Oh, he was exhausting to watch. And he was very intense in his emotions. He could not handle disappointment, he was emotionally fragile and would melt down at the slightest thing.
The specialist had us fill out several surveys and information sheets about Judah and his normal day to day activities. And she talked to us and she observed Judah. We were with her for over an hour. And she told us, "I do not like to diagnose children at this age, but he has every single marker for Asperger's Syndrome. And he is off the charts ADHD." She also said, "He may outgrow a lot of this, or he may not. We just do not know."
We left her office feeling like we had just been punched in the gut. We had been home less than a month with our special needs child from China and our daughter Bethany has needs that mean she will likely never live alone. On the way out of her office I remember saying to Mike, "Gee God must think we are strong." But we didn't feel very strong at that moment. We felt weak, and vulnerable, and lost. So very lost.
It took a while to let the news soak in. We had been given some alternatives to help with the hyperactivity. The quirks and speech were things we could live with, but his hyperactivity and impulsivity were getting to a point that he was putting himself in danger. One day at the grocery store, both Ezra and Judah were in the grocery cart. I was checking out and turned to swipe my debit card. In the 10 seconds I was turned away, Judah had climbed out of the cart and had dashed, full speed towards the exit of the grocery store, straight into the very busy parking lot. My heart fell. And I sat in the car in tears afterwards. He so very easily could have ran out the door straight into the path of a car. We had to do something.
I called the doctor to talk to her about the medications she had told us about. Since he was only four, there were not many medications that would be appropriate for him. She did tell us about one that was non-stimulant and would help him nap in the afternoons. I needed him to nap. Oh, I needed that. We started him on the Tenex. And almost two years later we are still on the Tenex. It has helped him tremendously!
Since Judah had been diagnosed with Asperger's, he now qualified for services at our public school. We requested an evaluation. The psychologist that did the testing confirmed what our doctor told us. And he recommended that Judah attend PPCD that spring and preschool the next year.
PPCD was good for him. He screamed and cried every morning, but he did well in the class and I think he gained confidence. He was the highest functioning child in the group and was a helper to the teacher. His speech was also coming along and he began to have more appropriate social interactions with his peers.
In fall of 2011 Judah started attending Pre K at the elementary school. He was in a traditional classroom with 15 other students. He had no modifications and no additional staff to support him. And he did wonderfully! I was almost in tears, every single day, when I would pick him up and he would tell his friends, "Good bye Christian! Good bye Jack!" and they in turn would yell, "Good bye Judah!!!" He had friends. And he was ahead of everyone in the class academically. And it was becoming very common for people to be surprised if we happened to mention his Asperger's diagnosis. "He seems fine!" Every morning I had to carry him into the school, him kicking and screaming, and the principal had to peel him off of me. But once he was there, he did great!
At his ARD that spring, his IEP was all but pushed to the side and we decided that regular kindergarten with no additional services would be the most appropriate placement for Judah this fall. They would watch him to make sure he was doing okay socially, but really, we had not reason to think he would not do wonderfully in kindergarten!
During the last 3.5 years, Sharla has been seeing Judah every week. She has taken him from being a very quiet non-verbal two year old to a smart, funny, and socially aware little boy. We knew that with kindergarten starting, we needed to retest his speech to see where he stood. In both verbal expressive and oral comprehension, Judah tested in the "normal" range! He has graduated!!!! It has been amazing to watch the transformation the last 3.5 years, and especially the last two years.
Tomorrow we have a follow up with our specialist. She sees Judah every 4-6 months and she has been very pleased with his progress. He has overcome a lot of his sensory issues; he will take a shower now! He still prefers spicy foods, but does not crave them. He does not like fans, but does not have a complete meltdown when he sees an electric handryer in a bathroom. He won't use one, but at least he'll go to the bathroom if he needs to go. He still needs his medication for ADHD (we skipped his pill today, and oh, yeah, he still needs his medication) and he is still more emotionally fragile than some kids his age, but overall, he seems to be a normal, happy, smart 5 year old boy!!!!
We are so proud of you Judah!!! And we count ourselves so blessed to have you as our son! You push us and challenge us and through your life, God shows us His faithfulness every single day. You are a gift to us and we praise God for you!
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